January 6, 2007

Drinking the rest of your beer
at 4am.
took off my jeans and put on the red robe
that you like.
lit one of your Winstons.

too mathematical for real poetry
to much though(t) goes into to each
to each line
to each bit of word for word for line
for line and syllable.

warm, buzzing computer on my lap
you are in my bed without me and I miss
miss your warm shoulder, hip, thigh
laying across my shoulder, hip thigh
your beer’s almost through and I am too
but I play on – and I put on and I
and I     
need you and yet I stay here.

down here fighting the spell check
backspacing hard
against the automatic capitalization

you are the only thing that makes
my body SCREAM.
like the other night and nights
to come.  Where you been
for so long?

you ask me why do I love you…
I ask myself why I am so hard on
why do I ask so many questions
why do I demand so and boss so and require
so so so.

makes me remember the sewing machine
high up in the closet
with so many pieces of clothing
dying for alteration – waiting
for some attention – some shortening
some here and there.

shocks me actually that we don’t need
any here or there. 
that what we have
is neither too here or too there,
but too good for them they know.

But what do they know –
Her penchant for shiny things?
They know about that and they only want
to hurt us because they know how to take
the shiny things away…

a new beer and another one of your Winstons
robed for bed and thinking of that kiss
the one on the subway
on your cheek
and the one I wanted so badly while I watched your mouth
(before we/i/you admitted)
while we sat in at that bar
in Union Square.

I will never have that kiss
at that bar
at that moment
and even though
I’ve had so much of you
I will keep after it.

That kiss…


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