no shit-fuck

August 30, 2007

Nikkie downloaded the new M.I.A. album (Kala, in case you are not in “the know”) at least a week ago – maybe a few days?  I finally got in on my machine today. 

I am still up way too late, drinking waaay too much wine and blowing my usual smoke as I listen to it.  Outstanding.  Pick it up.

“I got more records than the KGB.”

I’m about to make the trip south to Maryland tomorrow.  The weekly-rental car is parked outside my apartment ready to go.  Part of me misses my family – the connection and whatnot – but the other part of me can’t believe that I’m leaving my girl here for this long.

I know she’ll have plenty of things to fill her time (her band! big wine!, music!) but still.  Damnit, still.

Her sister – recently arrived from London – about to travel back to Western Mass is asleep in our bed.  Nikkie?  Asleep on our crappy couch as I keep listening and keep drinking and keep blowing my smoke.

We fought yesterday.  I was on the LIRR to the beach all by myself.  She was stuck in a shit-fuck of a job.  I complained about someting stupid and it grew and grew into a big SHIT-FUCK.   We hate when that happens.  

It is nearly September.  As much as I like the summer-sun, I am most comfortable with the autumn months.  They lend more to the who-I-am.  When winter comes, we talk more about the who-she-is. 

Yeah, I keep wondering – as much as I now know about the who-she-is.  I’ll know more one day.  Because there’s so much more.  That’s what keeps me in.  And damnit – no SHIT-FUCK is gonna keep me out.

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